Zennulhugkapxengut is a god.

She takes the form of a small, merciful bird.

Zennulhugkapxengut created an atom two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zennulhugkapxengut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zennulhugkapxengut, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zennulhugkapxengut's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zennulhugkapxengut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Zennulhugkapxengut in the centre of the settlement.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Erect six iron sculptures of Zennulhugkapxengut on top of important buildings.