Largmegcipced is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unselfish bird.

Largmegcipced created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Largmegcipced, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Largmegcipced, it will turn you into a duck.

Largmegcipced's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Largmegcipced's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near whales while wearing gray coats and balancing five zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Never feed garlic to ants while wearing tights.

3. Retreat if seven foxes approach from the east.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.