Habrutflowrapfodfutyam is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, annoying penguin.

Habrutflowrapfodfutyam created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habrutflowrapfodfutyam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Habrutflowrapfodfutyam, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Habrutflowrapfodfutyam's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Habrutflowrapfodfutyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to eagles while wearing orange coats.

4. Worship no other gods but Habrutflowrapfodfutyam.

5. Do not drink alcohol.