Bommaptun is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent elephant.

Bommaptun created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bommaptun, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bommaptun, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bommaptun's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Bommaptun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Always obey Bommaptun's priests.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Pray towards the north.