Volfotcaddapcutsabquim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast yak.

Volfotcaddapcutsabquim created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volfotcaddapcutsabquim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volfotcaddapcutsabquim, he will come to you in dreams.

Volfotcaddapcutsabquim's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Volfotcaddapcutsabquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Volfotcaddapcutsabquim.