Vaghubteen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered mink.

Vaghubteen created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaghubteen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vaghubteen, he will strike you with lightening.

Vaghubteen's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Vaghubteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.