Gigquafflap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless lizard.

Gigquafflap created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigquafflap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gigquafflap, she will be very sad.

Gigquafflap's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gigquafflap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never think about dark energy near nematodes while wearing mauve scarves and balancing three carbon spheres on your hands.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.