Tonbessquim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, flying fox.

Tonbessquim created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonbessquim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tonbessquim, she will think nothing of it.

Tonbessquim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tonbessquim's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Always help hamsters in need.