Arnloopyart Bassxemwad is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, compassionate jackal.

Arnloopyart Bassxemwad created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Arnloopyart Bassxemwad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Arnloopyart Bassxemwad, it will try to impress you with trees.

Arnloopyart Bassxemwad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Arnloopyart Bassxemwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.