Queegfomved is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, awesome unicorn.

Queegfomved created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegfomved, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Queegfomved, it will be very sad.

Queegfomved's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Queegfomved's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Queegfomved must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Queegfomved in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Never paint your arms white.