Cemspagdiss Arfnurtpang is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, sage sheep.

Cemspagdiss Arfnurtpang created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemspagdiss Arfnurtpang, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cemspagdiss Arfnurtpang, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Cemspagdiss Arfnurtpang's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cemspagdiss Arfnurtpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Hide if seven bats approach from the east.

4. Never wear pink trousers.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.