Vidjadort is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, irritating hydra.

Vidjadort created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidjadort, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vidjadort, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Vidjadort's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vidjadort's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to porpoises while wearing skirts.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

4. Run away from gray nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Hide if four cats approach from the east.