Nellnartfun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet walrus.

Nellnartfun created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellnartfun, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nellnartfun, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nellnartfun's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nellnartfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near geese while wearing brown scarves.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.