Midjanren is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, resourceful hippopotamus.

Midjanren created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midjanren, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Midjanren, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Midjanren's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Midjanren's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine shrews approach from the west.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. You must never eat peas.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing green rings and balancing five aluminium spheres on your back.