Quagwitcar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, temperamental mongoose.

Quagwitcar created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagwitcar, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quagwitcar, she will be very sad.

Quagwitcar's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quagwitcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quagwitcar's name in vain.

2. Always help hamsters in need.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.