Hanjamzim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane hamster.

Hanjamzim created parasitic wasps seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanjamzim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hanjamzim, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hanjamzim's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hanjamzim's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hanjamzim.

5. Never wear white corsets.