Butgamlad is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring seal.

Butgamlad created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butgamlad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Butgamlad, he will be very unhappy.

Butgamlad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Butgamlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near rats while wearing indigo trousers and balancing seven tin spheres on your face.

2. Always look after injured nematodes.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.