Dimbarnkad is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring scorpion.

Dimbarnkad created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimbarnkad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dimbarnkad, it will turn you into a rock.

Dimbarnkad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dimbarnkad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dimbarnkad.

2. Dimbarnkad loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never sing near frogs.