Bonkfebmit is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, bad-tempered naga.

Bonkfebmit created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfebmit, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonkfebmit, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bonkfebmit's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bonkfebmit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about ducks.

5. Do not drink alcohol.