Taf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, confident fly.

Taf created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Taf, she will destroy your favourite star.

Taf's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Taf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Feed all hungry tapirs.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.