Kanman is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic snail.

Kanman created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanman, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanman, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kanman's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kanman's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear yellow rings.