Passidwee is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless goblin.

Passidwee created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Passidwee, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Passidwee, he will turn you into a duck.

Passidwee's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Passidwee's Holy Commandments

1. Passidwee must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never talk about dark matter near birds while wearing gray coats and balancing seven lead spheres on your back.

4. Always obey Passidwee's priests.

5. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Passidwee in the centre of the settlement.