Binlunkik is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing dugong.

Binlunkik created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Binlunkik, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Binlunkik, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Binlunkik's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Binlunkik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Retreat if four sheep approach from the east.

3. You must pray to Binlunkik eight times a day.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Hide if three swans approach from the west.