Gidbissbum is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating porpoise.

Gidbissbum created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gidbissbum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gidbissbum, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gidbissbum's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gidbissbum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gidbissbum first in all things.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Do not take Gidbissbum's name in vain.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about quantum mechanics.