Quatfitcar is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, charitable bear.

Quatfitcar created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatfitcar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quatfitcar, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Quatfitcar's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Quatfitcar's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Never think about special relativity near hamsters while wearing black stockings and balancing nine silver spheres on your face.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Quatfitcar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never wear ear rings.