Himlargtonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unthinking salamander.

Himlargtonk created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Himlargtonk, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Himlargtonk, it will strike you with lightening.

Himlargtonk's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Himlargtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Run away if three geese approach from the east.