Sinpomtontitlogmangepquag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, caring squid.

Sinpomtontitlogmangepquag created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinpomtontitlogmangepquag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sinpomtontitlogmangepquag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Sinpomtontitlogmangepquag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Sinpomtontitlogmangepquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Never leap near snails.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not make images of living things.