Wigyarcet is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, fast gnu.

Wigyarcet created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigyarcet, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wigyarcet, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wigyarcet's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wigyarcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Do not sing in public.