Hubcetlat is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish parrot.

Hubcetlat created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Hubcetlat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hubcetlat, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hubcetlat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hubcetlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Hubcetlat loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.