Vonkbafnul is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless shark.

Vonkbafnul created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbafnul, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonkbafnul, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vonkbafnul's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Vonkbafnul's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your back.

3. Hide if nine dolphins approach from the west.

4. Erect three tin sculptures of Vonkbafnul on top of important buildings.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.