Xinpangboss is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Xinpangboss created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Xinpangboss, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xinpangboss, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Xinpangboss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Xinpangboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Xinpangboss loves doves, so they must be respected.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Learn four new languages a year.