Gumbifhak is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-assured newt.

Gumbifhak created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumbifhak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gumbifhak, he will not care.

Gumbifhak's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gumbifhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Pray towards the south.