Bastcimbell is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow gerbil.

Bastcimbell created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastcimbell, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bastcimbell, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bastcimbell's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bastcimbell's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Bastcimbell loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Never eat grapes.

5. Never talk about gravity near mice while wearing indigo shirts and balancing seven iron spheres on your hands.