Arpdibfed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate lizard.

Arpdibfed created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpdibfed, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Arpdibfed, he will laugh at you.

Arpdibfed's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Arpdibfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.