Zimbadlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, emotional dryad.

Zimbadlarg created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimbadlarg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zimbadlarg, he will boil you in a big pot.

Zimbadlarg's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Zimbadlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. You must pray to Zimbadlarg seven times a day.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing black stockings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always stare at clouds.