Nurlbidwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, capable grasshopper.

Nurlbidwig created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbidwig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlbidwig, it will torture you forever.

Nurlbidwig's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Nurlbidwig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not kill monkeys.

3. Never feed strawberries to mites while wearing blue tights.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not listen to music.