Bellzodveen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, all-knowing shrew.

Bellzodveen created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellzodveen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bellzodveen, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bellzodveen's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Bellzodveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always look after injured turtles.

5. Run away from purple doves, for they are unholy.