Timdapvab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Timdapvab created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Timdapvab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Timdapvab, he will turn you into a frog.

Timdapvab's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Timdapvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Do not eat lentils.