Mob is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, calm squirrel.

Mob created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mob, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mob, he will turn you into a plant.

Mob's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Mob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Mob loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near bats while wearing indigo coats and balancing six aluminium spheres on your neck.