Vonhapomt is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful wyvern.

Vonhapomt created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonhapomt, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonhapomt, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Vonhapomt's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vonhapomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ducks.

2. Never think ill of sick voles.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Run away from indigo doves, for they are unholy.

5. Vonhapomt loves foxes, so they must be respected.