Sakfetnantin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful gorilla.

Sakfetnantin created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sakfetnantin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sakfetnantin, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sakfetnantin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sakfetnantin's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Sakfetnantin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Sakfetnantin in the centre of the settlement.