Quafflaggom is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, clever coyote.

Quafflaggom created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafflaggom, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quafflaggom, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quafflaggom's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Quafflaggom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Quafflaggom loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Quafflaggom must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing fawn tights.