Jatteenbep is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, all-powerful dog.

Jatteenbep created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatteenbep, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jatteenbep, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jatteenbep's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Jatteenbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never feed turnips to shrews while wearing coats.