Genmadwod is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring hyena.

Genmadwod created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Genmadwod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Genmadwod, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Genmadwod's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Genmadwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt hamsters.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.