Yarpcedcab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, quiet jaguar.

Yarpcedcab created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcedcab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yarpcedcab, it will strike you with lightening.

Yarpcedcab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yarpcedcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never go into violet rooms.

3. You must pray to Yarpcedcab five times a day.

4. Hide from indigo doves for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.