Tanbogarm is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, two-faced troll.

Tanbogarm created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Tanbogarm, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tanbogarm, she will be very sad.

Tanbogarm's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tanbogarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near manatees while wearing red shirts and balancing three titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tanbogarm.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away if eight swans approach from the east.