Haslogbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, intelligent rhinoceros.

Haslogbarn created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haslogbarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Haslogbarn, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Haslogbarn's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Haslogbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Haslogbarn in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always treat shrews with great respect.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.