Xucnigboss is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, clever ant.

Xucnigboss created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Xucnigboss, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xucnigboss, she will manifest in front of you.

Xucnigboss' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Xucnigboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve trousers.

2. Never paint your hands yellow.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Always help otters in need.

5. You must love Xucnigboss.