Flamtabwit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, selfish naga.

Flamtabwit created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Flamtabwit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flamtabwit, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flamtabwit's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Flamtabwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ants.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Flamtabwit loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. Always obey Flamtabwit's priests.

5. You must never eat figs.