Queegcitgup is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, moody hippopotamus.

Queegcitgup created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegcitgup, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Queegcitgup, it will turn you into a rock.

Queegcitgup's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Queegcitgup's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black mites, for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Queegcitgup's name in vain.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Never skip in the presence of doves.

5. Never jump near snails.